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This movie is worst movie that just so happens to be the best at disguising itself as one of the most "Ok" movies of all time. And I would like the first say this: "We did NOT need a reboot of Sam Raimi's Spider-man!" Sorry, but seriously, this movie is nothing more than Sony trying to keep the money that they were getting from the first two Spider-men movies that it needed to do whatever it took, including appealing to the audiences that seemed to hate the first two movies for arbitrary reasons.
But let's get going and try to review this movie as a separate work (even though having the mere balls to make this a reboot of the greatest comic book adaptation movie there is makes it completely deserving of being compared). First, since you all know my opinions on the final verdict, I'm going to leave that and the real problems to last. Now, characters first:
Spiderman is the biggest dick in the universe. Gwen Stacey has a fetish for douche-bags who stalk her and her father disapproves of. Flash Thompson is a bully who grows and learns to accept Peter as a person and a friend. Uncle Ben is a good man and didn't deserve to die. Curt Conners has one of the biggest, out of the blue motivation changes there are. George Stacey (Gwen's father) deserved a LOT more character growth.
Now, I bet you are thinking, wow, that was the most opinionated review ever, this guy isn't professional at all. Let's go read Film Critic Hulk's stuff instead, which you should, it's really good stuff, but first, let me explain. Peter Parker does nothing in this movie that makes him look realistic, sympathetic, or heroic at all by the beginning and pretty much the entire movie. There are plenty of moments where he acts like he is learning, and growing as a person, but he never stays like that for long, instead going and doing another insensitive thing. Also, apparently Peter Parker is a wimpy, bullied nerd, but the first thing out of anything that he does, is get asked out by a very cute girl and he turns her down. Really, and I'm supposed to feel sorry for him and relate to him? And really, he stutters more than Shia LaBeouf
Then there's Gwen Stacey, who seems to think that if a guy is stalking you, he is someone you should ask to go on a date. Really? He shows up at the place you work without any explanation, then his uncle says that he has your picture on his computer, I'd get going in the other direction. And in case you want to say maybe she knows he's not really stalking her, I spent my years watching movies and tv shows glorifying stalking as a justifiable way for people to get girls to like you, so one year I tried that in middle school, no one I knew would let me live it down ever since. Girls don't like stalking, even when all you do is just stare at them during recess.
Now, to Curt Conners. Like the rest of the Spider-man movie villains, this was a good villain. He was tragic, he had motivation, UNTIL he pulls a 180 and decides to turn everyone into a lizard. They try to cover this up with having Curt leave a message confessing to his evil plans, but really? It feels 100% contrived and there could even have been ways to make this whole thing work. Maybe instead of a recorded message, you could have him try to turn another person into a lizard, and when they reject his offer he fights them and accidentally kills them. He sees this as a weakness on their part and decides to make everyone stronger, instead of this, for no reason, wanting to make all humans stronger for no reason.
And now Uncle Ben and Police Chief George Stacey. Both of these characters are actually really good characters, but the problem is that neither of them ever get any real character moments in the movie. All the Police Chief does is gripe about wanting to catch Spiderman and how Spiderman is a menace to the police and all Ben does is try to be a good parent to a bratty kid who can't seem to get his act together.
There are a few good moments in this movie, like when the mugger goes and kills Uncle Ben. It is a very different scene from the original Spider-man movie. In that one, the mugger was just a desperate guy robbing a jerk for money. In this, the jerk who gets robbed is completely justified in getting robbed, and the robber actually is nice to Peter, giving him what he was trying to buy as well. Then he drops his gun and Uncle Ben tries to be a hero and grab the gun from him and he accidentally shoots him. It's a great moment that feels very real (which is one of the only real moments in this entire film). Then there's that moment where Chief Stacey argues about how Spiderman is more of a danger to the city because he interferes with police activities.
Now, if any of you read my review of Rurouni Kenshin, then you know that I know a little about fight scene choreography and I have to say this. This movie has some of the best fight-choreography in any modern comic book movie at all. It's very good and properly demonstrates all of Spiderman's abilities, except one. Sadly, I have to say, this movie has left out one of Spiderman's most important super-powers ever, and I'm not talking about his web-shooters. I'm talking about his spider-sense. I mean, think about it, never in this movie do they really show Spiderman using his spider-sense. They have him use enhanced reflexes, but not his near-pre-cognition that was his trade-mark back in the day. In fact, he even gets tricked and sneak-attacked in the sewers, when in "reality" spiderman should have been able to easily get out of that situation by reacting with his enhanced reflexes.
Now, to what really drives home the problem with this movie, even more than how none of the characters actually grow or how none of the events in this movie make sense. It's the editing, the writing, and the camera-working. There are so many pointless scenes, whether they are too long or completely unimportant, that this movie feels like it would do so much better if the time used in this had been used to give many of the characters some more character growth.
All in all, this movie has a few good moments, but no where near enough to redeem its horrible lead characters and shitty writing. If I wanted to watch the origin story of Spiderman, I would have watched the Sam Raimi one
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